The Weight a Father Carries by Choice

DandDJamaica

Doesn’t that picture just make you feel peaceful and happy? There my husband and I are in Jamaica 2016 for our delayed honeymoon just before our 1st Wedding Anniversary. Not only did the photographer capture his invigorating smile and his fortifying strength, she captured the ease both provide me as his wife. And, that sunset; my favorite time of day. The time of day he proposed, too, because it is my favorite. I surround my home with photos capturing the love our family shares for one another and life. They provide such peace, comfort, and purpose each day. I find myself stopping to view them more these last few days as fear creeps in.

Many of us in the Houston area are juggling fears this week due to recent tragic events in Santa Fe, Texas. No doubt, as parents, we are inundated with stress over one desire to protect our children. We wrap ourselves up in our thoughts, crawl around in them, and often find ourselves just plum worrisome and sick over it all. Our thoughts can be scary, especially if we deal with them alone. In traditional homes, wives look to husbands for support and strength. It is just a standard that comes with the territory. In our blended home, my husband fulfills this calling well.

Being my rock, he is also the rock of the family. The girls witness my turning to him for advice, support, and decision making at every curve. He is my teammate. Being surrounded by females – our four daughters and me – he truly, and naturally, carries the weight of a father by loving choice. I watch all of us go to him. (Yes, the girls come to both of us! 🙂 No matter what route they take, it still lands in his lap. I will go to him for my worries, the girls’, our family’s, my friends’, and any worldly issue I need to discuss. He is my go-to. We mull it over, together. We pray, together. He offers solutions.

As this blog was coming to fruition, I recalled another vignette (previous FaceBook post from the original FOUR-TY Days of Thanks I wrote of yesterday) from last Spring. I was overcome with fear regarding several facets of our life. I literally felt helpless. (To learn more about the fears I battled with amid a health scare while pregnant, visit yesterday’s post, https://blendstrong.com/2018/05/22/forty-beckons-i-answer-with-four-ty-days-of-thanks/) My husband became my everything during this time; more than I fathomed he already was. He allowed me to cry, scream, be quiet, argue, be distant, crawl into his lap, and ultimately, celebrate, laugh, and cry again with him when the scare dissipated. It was not pretty. Yet, he still found me stunning (so he calims).

Here is a peek at the solid leader he is for our home:

5 of 40 Days of Thanks

6 March 2017

Donald

It is no secret the universal man of the house bears great weight to carry his entire family. When one in his home is weak, he tends to feel at fault. His mission for their weakness is distinctly clear: Fix it. Despite the stereotypical expectations of our society, we as parents and spouses are faced daily with our moral pendulum swinging from guilt and pride of our actions through our own intrinsic code. One aspect my husband rings fervently true to his code is that we must “[t]rain [our children] in the way [they] should go” because he inherently believes “…when [they are] old [they] will not turn from it” (NIV Proverbs 22:6). In providing unconditional love to our children and to one another, we shower them with forgiveness for their faults, room to trip again, and celebration when they overcome and succeed.

As a Daddy, he commits daily to fatherly lead our children to “…not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present [their] requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard [their] hearts and [their] minds in Christ Jesus” (NIV Philippians 4:6-7). He models this belief by leading our family in daily prayer as well as challenging us all to overcome our worrisome fears. It is through his known expectations for our children to care for themselves and be true to their commitments they can transcend their fears into excitement to maximize their potential.

As my husband, he diligently works to acquiesce my fears with his pristine and unfaltering faith to “…not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself” and reminding me that “[e]ach day has enough trouble of its own” (NIV Matthew 6:34). In his unwavering pursuit to provide peace and stability for me, I have come to understand the importance of “…why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (NIV Genesis 2:24). He has provided me a safe place to be me.

In essence, he has built us a home to blend and grow our family.

For once, I feel light for his strength. As spring approaches, our children are breaking self-prophetic barriers. Today, I am not worried about tomorrow for his faith. Finally, we are home.

#fourtydaysofthanks #raisingdaughters #iamtheluckyone #familyfirst #chooselove

My husband is a Christian man, and he leads our home through his faith. He is not perfect, nor am I. We are flawed. We hold each other and ourselves accountable, however, and we grow together. It is his (& our) very faith that got us through the trying time and equipped us to handle every trying time hurled our way thereafter to include family issues, Hurricane Harvey, and more health issues. There is such faith and security in the awareness you can handle any aspect of life, together.

As you move through fearful times, I hope this post guides you to scripture and faith to lean on one another. The intention of marriage is to face life hand in hand. You can be weak together and strong together, and you can be the strength for the other when they are desperately weak as you will need them to be the same for you one day. If you feel someone can benefit from this post, please, share it with them.

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