I get it. Trust me. You want to be courted, pampered, showered with affection, & receive his giddy excitement like he did in the beginning… But, the beginning was before you blended your home with three kids & added a baby… the beginning was before any hardships (traumatic even) you have faced… the beginning was before joint financial decisions… the beginning was before adulting, together.
The life pie chart I mentioned in yesterday’s post about my devoting only 1% of time to my best girl friends & making a conscious effort to change that (so worth it!)…. well, my heart shattered at no % of alone time to my absolute favorite person in the world. We were struggling to find time for just us because we are both pulled in so many directions (which we absolutely love as high functioning individuals with ongoing aspirations because neither of us are complacent people). We go & do with family & shared friends often, & we dive into our four kids, together. We had literally pulled our alone time & placed it elsewhere for everyone else.
My husband and I went from one night a week & having two weekends a month to ourselves for almost three years while traveling twice a year – just us – to instantaneously no time alone (nor were we willing to not be with our baby). We encountered some extensive trials & tribulations in our first four years of marriage some couples never face. But, we did it together.
We had to get creative with our date nights IN while the baby slept on the couch between us or while we splurged and bought steaks for the entire family of six and enjoyed a family date night IN on our weekends. We turned projects at home into date nights. He encouraged me to see our snuggling on the couch while watching a favored TV show (damn you GOT for forsaking us!), a movie, a documentary, an interview, what-have-you as a date night. He was right. He is so smart like that.
I chose to cook meals I know he loves, he showed up from work fresh from the store because he was gonna be the chef, or we ordered in on our weeknights our three older kids were away. We would share a bottle of wine after the baby went to bed while savoring whatever we chose to watch together.
Now, all our kids reside with us, so when my two are away with their Dad, we have our oldest & our youngest. Our baby is now two. Our oldest needs play money. We know they will both survive our night out. So, we have decided to start going OUT for date nights again. We have added a lil flare to it by going to venues we have not been to before or been to in awhile. We are promising three or more hours each outing. We are allowing Uber/Lyft to chauffeur us because let’s face it- we are gonna enjoy adult beverages together.
We are having FUN!
And, I do not wait for him to initiate date night, plan it out to a T, nor hold resentment when he doesn’t. He is a man among men. He is busting his ass day in & day out motivated by us five ladies in our home. He is motivated with the future in mind. He hugs & kisses me goodbye every morning telling me he loves me, & he finds me wherever I am in our big home to repeat the intimate exchange when he comes home. He chooses me, our family, & us every damn day. So… I suggest date night. I just may be the one planning it out to a T. Or, he may take my date night initiation & run with it like he did last night & order the Uber & select the local King’s BierHaus we have never been to.
We had FUN, y’all! We went with absolute intention of soaking one another up. We had to discuss an important issue while we had the privacy, & we promised no more than five to ten minutes on the topic. We took part in laugh-your-ass-off texts with his Dad as well as with my Angel Squad, but his phone was face down & mine was in my purse for the most part. We cringed when Bregman took the ball in the chin – loudly cringed with physical reaction – while enjoying our food & drinks at the full service bar. We were simply just being us… like in the beginning. When the guy next to us started up conversation because his wife was busy working, we just intertwined legs & held hands until she took back his desire to chat.
It was nostalgic! I love this man with every fiber of my being.
It is soooo worth the time devoted to your favorite person. So, initiate it. Enjoy it. Laugh. Love. And, have FUN! 🍻
And, guys… say, YES to your lady. 💙
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